Quick Rant

Sorry folks, been slammed at work. The next few days should be slightly less hectic so I’ll try to get a couple of posts up. For now, here’s a quick rant that occurred to me on my way in this morning. I’ll even paint another picture for you…

Driving along behind some d-bag (I’ll make our d-bag "gender-neutral" for today, as I’ve found this scenario carried out by both women and men). Our d-bag is driving much slower than they should be, allowing a great empty space to develop between themselves and the vehicle in front of them. And what happens with empty spaces? Why, they get filled up by other vehicles that are entering off of side roads. Which adds to the congestion in front of me, which slows things down, which extends my commute time. See where I’m going here?

Back to the d-bag; they continue to drive slowly…a car pulls out in front of them and the d-bag slams their brakes on. We start moving again, and the d-bag again goes too slowly, another large space develops, another car enters the stream from a side road, d-bag hits their brakes, drives slower, another space develops, another vehicle comes in, etc., etc., etc.

By this time, I’ve basically pushed through the windshield; my head is stretched out over the hood, my voice screaming promises of vengeance against d-bag’s entire family, neck veins stretching the very limits of human skin tensile strength…in other words, I’m taking things pretty calmly.

Just when it seems this d-bag has no idea where their accelerator pedal is, we approach a traffic light. The light is green…for the moment. We’re still a fair distance away, but I know what’s about to happen; the light goes yellow and the d-bag floors it. Lurching forward like it’s been shot out of a catapult, their car rockets through the intersection, dragging any vestiges of yellow light along with it. What’s left? Me; sitting at a red light and now extending my curses upon d-bag’s descendents as well.

Such is life on the commuting trail…can’t wait for riding weather to get here so I can get the bike back into action. Then I can show ‘em. I’ll show ‘em all!

(Evil laugh emanates forth…)

RANT!!

Yes, it’s that time again – time for another one of my rants!!

Let me paint a picture for you. It’s a picture that presents itself to me time and time again. While the picture may not always be exactly the same, the scenario, is.

For this demonstration, let’s go with; being stuck at a traffic light. The light turns green. I'm in the third car back. The first car moves all the way to the left side of the lane, and has even gone so far as to pull out to the center of the intersection. That leaves car number two just standing there with the driver’s thumb up their ass. There is plenty of room to go around, but they’re sitting there, barely inching forward, head swiveling back and forth, looking to gauge their clearance between the curb and the bumper - both of which are MILES away from the sides of their car. An inch forward, slam on the brakes and then head-swivel to check their clearances. I assure you; your clearances are just as vast as they were a second ago. Another inch forward and the brakes are fully engaged yet again. More head swiveling, leaning, straining to look out both windows. Another inch – no! Only a half inch this time before the brakes are immediately clenched to their maximum capacity.

And there I am behind you; envisioning the marching bands that I could parade down both sides of your stupid f’ing vehicle, you’ve got so much room.

You’ve got so much room; the city is planning on painting some new road lines and making multi-vehicle travel lanes on both sides of your stupid f’ing car.

You’ve got so much room; real estate developers are arguing over who can build the biggest houses on both sides of your stupid f’ing car.

You’ve got so much room; airplanes are using the free-space as landing strips on both sides of your stupid f’ing car.

Folks, can we please learn the dimensions of our own vehicles? Please? If you don’t know how to drive your own vehicle, then please do the rest of us a favor and stay off of the g** damned roadways!

Thank you, I feel better.

For the moment...

WTF!!

I'm currently in the middle of the same band of cold air the rest of the northern half of the country is enjoying. The temps have been slowly creeping lower the past few days, but the full brunt of the air mass arrived overnight, and walking out the door this morning was rather un-frikkin-pleasant. The chill couldn't have gone through me faster if I'd taken a cold shower and then walked right out my back door (still bare assed), laid down and made a snow angel. Holy Mother of All That is Warm - please take pity on those of us who are now under the spell of the Frost Miser.

And where the hell is this thing they call Global Warming?? The weather folks tell us that this blast of frigid air is coming from the Artic Circle. So please tell me how the HELL we're supposed to believe that ice is melting up there? My house is something like TWO THOUSAND miles away from the Arctic Circle, and there's not a chance in hell that any of that ice on my driveway is melting today. So how are we to believe that anything is melting all the way up there?

(For those with a serious bent; yes, I understand the complexities of global warming. My intent here is for humor, so please bear with me. Your understanding is appreciated.)

Chatting with King and TEP from Olean, they've got a ton of snow on the ground, with another foot coming today, and wind-chills in the negatives. Michigan Paul says they're enjoying AMBIENT temps in the minus range...we won't even discuss their wind-chills.

I'd meant to bring my camera in this morning to take a pic of cars driving around on the roads. They look like they've been painted white, and there's so much salt down that cars are actually stirring up little white clouds when they drive around. I forgot the camera, but then realized I probably don't need to take a pic of that stuff. If you want to see it, you probably only need to look out your own windows.

So in closing, I would like to again say WTF is up with the weather? We don't usually get this kind of cold air until early February. Someone owes us! I'll be expecting things to warm up nice and early this year. You hear that, Heat Miser??? Get off your ass and start walking north.

I'll have the beers ready and waiting.

Inevitability

The weather reports made no bones about it; we were getting hit, and hit hard. An expected 12-14 inches by morning, some residual accumulation tomorrow (maybe another couple of inches), and then another big storm coming on Sunday. Looks like I've dodged the bullet for the last time this month.

Took off from work early, got the fridge stocked up with food and beer and should be able to lie low for the weekend. Grabbed the plow stakes and lined the driveway. Brought in a ton of wood and got the stove fired up.

Brother Bill moved his bike down to the cellar and I was about to do the same. I rolled it out to the driveway and fired it up, and then it hit me; I should probably check to make sure the fairing would fit through the door. Damn - short by a whopping 4 inches. That's one wide-assed fairing! Looks like my baby is going to spend the winter in the garage. Oh well, at least it'll have a nice view of the winter goings-on, rather than stuck down in the cellar.

I still took advantage of the situation and spent a few minutes tooling the bike around the driveway. Each time I got to the end by the street, if there was a car going by, the driver would look at me kinda funny. What the hell is this retard doing on a bike in this weather? :-D

But alas, my poor bike is on stand-by as we both watch through the windows as winter officially descends upon us. We're waiting for a heavy rain to come and wash our troubles away.

So until that time arrives, I'll be dreaming of...

Riding Hard, Taking Chances

Ice is Nice…when it’s in your cooler!

Skies had cleared, the rain was gone…and of course; the temps had dropped right back down into the low 20’s again. Oh well, at least I’m riding!

Saddle up, hit the gym, then off to work. Come to a 4-way stop…taking a left…hey now…what’s up with that shimmer coming off of the road I’m turning into? Why, it looks just like black i - Whoooaaa big fella! Keep that ass end behind me where it belongs!! A quick shift of the weight, an adjustment with the handlebars, some fancy two-stepping with the feet…there; stabilized, rockin’ and rollin’ again.

Why hello there heart-rate, so nice of you to join me on this fine morning. It’s ok, it’s ok, you can settle down now. We’ll just keep an eye out for more dark patches on the way in, shall we? And while I’m at it, I can probably pull the seat out of my ass cheeks now –c’mon guys; unclench, unclench...

Slide Hard, Get 2nd Chances

Turkey Day 2008

Up early, suit up and hit the roadways. Brrr, a bit chilly for a November morning. I didn't get an exact reading, but the needle on the bike was floating just under the 20 degree mark.


Arriving at McCarthy's, I met up with the rest of the crew that would be joining us for breakfast. Scott, Dan, Mike and Mike's son (Mike) and myself hit a breakfast nook down the road a piece. Stuffing down a good breakfast was key for the day's activities; standing outside in the frosty temps, assiting The Mad Butcher as he made his way through the turkey horde.


(For those that would like some background on this day, see last year's post; http://twowheeledtales.blogspot.com/2007/11/turkey-day-2007.html )



As Paul so aptly mentioned in one of his recent posts; what good is a blog without a pic? So here's the pic; it's easy to keep your beers cold when they're wrapped in ice!One of the guys had used a claw hammer to bust up the ice in the cooler and try to get a beer out. Well, he missed and wound up wearing one of the beers. Good fun for those of us watching - not so much fun for him.




There was a good turnout this year, and the turkeys never stood a chance. Unfortunately, I had to bail at noontime, but everything was in good hands when I left.


Good laughs, good times. Anyone interested in making it next year? All you gotta do is bring some food for the feast, a few beers, and a strong stomach.


Not sure I'll have anything else to post before Thanksgiving, so here's wishing everyone a great holiday, full of food, fun, and frivolity.


Eat Hard, Take Naps

Quit Yer Whining

So the weather today is calling for some flurries in the afternoon. Being one of the folks that wish they could ride year-round, I naturally took some offense to the suggestion/possibility that I might actually have some white stuff interfering with my riding today. I mean, WTF? It's not even Thanksgiving yet, why are we talking about snow? It's too early! I'm not ready!! Noooooo!!!!!!!


And then I come in and see a post on Paul's blog (check it out, the link is on my page, over on the right, below the pic of me and my pet flying horse...see it?), and he's got some snow in his backyard. No flurries, but actual snow. Enough to give the ground a hint of white to it. Huh. Ok, well he's got it worse than I do, the ground around here is still plenty clear.



And then I get a text from King. And he's got a picture attached.

Holy crap! Now that's snow! And he says it's 18 degrees out there with more snow on the way.

Then, I was emailing with TEP and he writes;


"Started bike, ran carb out of gas and covered it up Sunday
Took mower off tractor and put on the plow and chains
Found a couple of shovels
The 4WD engaged OK on my Dodge
Guess I'm ready.....dammit"


Hmmm...seems everyone else has it worse than I do...guess I should stop bitching about a few flurries then.


Doesn't mean I gotta like them, though...


Ride Hard, Take Chances