Identity Crisis

I started doing my taxes yesterday and when I was going through all the "important tax information enclosed" letters, I came across one from the IRS.  Huh.  I don't remember receiving this one (but I obviously did, and obviously filed it with the rest of my tax stuff).

Anyway, I opened it to find that my identity had been stolen, and that whoever did so, had filed a return under my name, using my SSN.  What - The - Fcuk?

Fortunately, something about that return had kicked off a red flag on the IRS's side so they sent me the letter to confirm that the return was authentic.  I called the phone number they listed, and after waiting on line for a refreshingly not-too-long time, got to speak to a very nice lady.  She was all kinds of official, giving me her name and IRS worker #, and informed me that the call was being recorded.

Long story short (I know; too late), she put a stop on the fraudulent return (they hadn't sent any money yet) and said I need to paper file this year, will have to paper-file next year, and may have to paper-file going forward now.  I've been e-filing for years, but if paper filing will keep things legit (and keep my money out of the hands of douchebags), I can live with it.

I also need to contact the police, FTC, credit bureaus, banks, etc. and let them know, as well as check to see if there has been any fraudulent activity in my name.  What a pain in the balls.  It's enough to make one drink.  Or take the bike for a nice long ride.  Or both.  Nah, not both.  Not at the same time, anyway.

Ride Hard, Take Chances