Movie Review – The Revenant

Yeah yeah, this blog ain’t supposed to be about reviewing movies.  I realize.  But I’ve got nothing else for ya today (other than the supposed hail and possible tornado for the ride home today), so I’m gonna throw something at ya a little outside of the norm.

I watched The Revenant this past weekend.  I’d heard all kinds of things about it, it won best picture (or something like that), so I figured it was a safe bet…

Wrong!!!

The first couple of scenes were fine, and even had some decent action in them.  Arrows flying in from off-screen, piercing skulls (through the eye!!), etc.  Good stuff to start things off.

But then the entire thing just slowed down…way down….”way-down-to-a-crawl” down.  Short segments of dialog, followed by tremendously long, drawn out stretches of nature footage - which I can see plenty of on Nova if I choose – but not something I’m looking for as the main body for a feature film.

After the third or fourth time of picking up the remote in order to fast forward to the next bit of film that had any excitement (or bearing on the story, for that matter), I found myself dozing off.  I stretched a bit and bounced around some to wake myself up and then picked up where I’d left off; watching this snoozer…and fighting the urge to doze off again.

At some point, it dawned on me that I didn’t know what the definition of a “revenant” was, so I Googled it;

            “A person who has returned, especially supposedly from the dead.”

Interesting.  A person who has returned.  I suppose I could be considered a bit of a revenant as well.  For once the movie ended, I found myself returning.

Returning from the land of nod.

If you haven’t seen this almost 3-hour waste of time; do yourself a favor and just go lay down for a nap, instead.  You’ll save yourself a few bucks and feel much more refreshed, afterward.