The word had come in from Mary, well over a month ago; King was officially retiring and there would be a party. I wasn’t sure who would be able to make the trip out, but put it out there and the response was overwhelming; we had SEVEN people who wanted to head out there and help our great friend celebrate this major milestone. Sweet!
The decision was made to keep things under wraps and let our attendance be a surprise. I wasn’t sure that we’d be able to keep it a surprise, even given that folks out in Olean were telling everyone and their brother that we were on our way out. But success was achieved, and King was greatly surprised when he saw us all there. But, I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s back up a bit…
Rob came all the way down from Maine and stayed over on Thursday night. He’d brought some awesome pork tips and veggies which we ka-bob’d on the grille, all while knocking back some frosties and made ready for the following morning’s send-off.
Friday morning, Cindy, Rob and I grabbed an early breakfast out and about, then shot over and grabbed the rental SUV (thanks Mike!) and headed back to the house to pick everyone up. And then the call came in; Kevin, who’d had to go into work for a few hours and was then going to strike out on his own and meet us out there, was done and ready! Directing him back to my house so we could all rendezvous together, we were loaded and rolling by 8:30. Not shabby at all!
We had two vehicles; the SUV and Kevin’s Jeep - he’d preferred to take his own wheels – it was a good thing, too, because if we’d squeezed all 7 of us into the SUV, it would have been extremely uncomfortable. As it was, things were slightly uncomfortable anyway. For you see, Rob is known for his…how to say this delicately…he’s known for his farts. And he revels in this, stocking up on deviled eggs, mushrooms, sausage, clam chowder (he’s even lactose intolerant!!)…whatever will help him with his odiferousness. Needless to say, the windows got a lot of exercise as they were lowered and raised with great frequency.
(As an aside; as problematic as Rob’s arse can be, it can also offer some hilarious entertainment. We’d stopped at the McDonald’s in Cuba for a quick pee break, and Rob walked up to the entrance door, let loose with a real winner, then retreated back to where we were waiting. We then watched as incoming patrons were brutally assaulted with the invisible death punch to their nostrils. The funniest was when a mother came in with her young son. The kid ran in, all excited, only to get a face-full of Rob’s wrath. The look on his face as he turned to his mother, seeking an explanation for the ruining of his entire day, was priceless.)
Thankfully, we arrived at Mark and Mary’s, not too much the worse for wear. Mary was working at the Post, and Mark was (as usual) hard at work in the kitchen, preparing a mighty feast for road travelers, and we were soon gathered ‘round, stuffing our faces and cracking more frosties.
And Rob was still up to his tricks. I’d even taken some toilet paper, sprayed it with FeBreeze, and stuffed it up my nostrils. It actually helped quite a bit (but it tickled, something fierce).
We had to wait until the coast was clear at the Post, for we’d received word that King was having a couple of cold ones before heading out for dinner. When the ‘all clear’ came in, we finished up, loaded up, and headed on over. Once there, things settled into the norm of guest-bartender (Kevin, Ziggy and myself took turns), shots (gotta check the Harley Oil temp!!), and beers. We had so many laughs and stretched the evening long past the normal closing time. But hey, that’s what happens when thirsty travelers arrive in town!
When we’d finally closed the till and cleaned everything up, Zig and I had to do our usual F*ck with Bub thing. We had to step things up a bit from other things in the past that we’ve done…so we took every single chair from the bar area and stuffed them into the bathrooms. Oh, it may sound childish…and it totally is – perfect for such childish minds as ours!
The next morning, we arose to find Mark once again manning the stove and getting breakfast lined up and ready for us. (These guys know how to treat guests!! But if they’re not careful, we may come out more often!) After breakfast, John Seth stopped over to grab a few of us to help him grab a throne that Ed Lemon had, to bring it over to the Post for King later. Once we’d gotten that out of the way, Me, Zig and Mike (Rob was still back at the house) did a quick visit to the graves, and then it was back to the house to pick everyone up and head over for the main event!
We arrived at the Post to find the parking lot already close to overflowing. We found a quiet corner to tuck Kevin’s Jeep into so that King wouldn’t see the MASS plate when he arrived. We ambled in, grabbed some frosties and began making the rounds and saying hello to folks not seen in months. But then; the word came in! King had arrived! We gotta hide! But where? The kitchen!! Yeah! Wait, what? Oh, it’s a false alarm, it’s not King. Ok, where were we…right; we were saddled up to the bar and having a lot of laughs. Ahh, this is the life, hanging out with friends and talking road stories, and just basically having a great…what? CRAP! It WAS King that had pulled in! And he’s just walked into the function side (directly viewable from the bar)!! Now we can’t get to the kitchen! Damn…ok, we gotta just hide by the bathrooms and wait for an opportune time to surprise him…speaking of which…do we even have a plan to surprise him? No? Ha ha, that fits our normal level of organization perfectly! Ok, so we’re all tucked around the corner, waiting for the right time to pop out…
Oh yeah; Me and Zig were wearing jester hats. It fits, right? Anyway, of course, King comes into the bar area and works his way down the stretch of the bar and seats himself right at the end corner!! He’s facing the hallway where we’re hiding! There’s no way he won’t see us this way! Damn…ok, ok…just breathe.
Well, fortune was on our side. He turned to chat with the guy to his left, effectively putting his back to us. Zig and I hunkered down below the level of the bar and snuck out and around behind him. Sutton, working the bar, saw what we were doing and told King she wanted to take his picture. King turned to her, me and Zig stood up silently and smiled over his shoulders for the pic, then ducked down again so he wouldn’t see us as he turned back to his chat. Sutton asked him if he wanted to see the pic and he said yes. Ta da! There were me and Zig, standing right next to him in the pic! It was perfect!
(Ok, so King had had a bit of suspicion that the two of us might make the trip, but he was totally unprepared for the rest of the crew! It was great watching the surprise on his face as person after person spilled out from around the corner!)
From there, the day ran long and fun, with all kinds of people coming in to extend their congratulations and wish King well. We got to see folks we haven’t seen in years, too! It was an awesome, awesome day. We even squeezed in a game of Screw Your Neighbor (Kevin and I split the pot).
It was going to be an early morning the next day, as we had to get the rental car back by 6, so most of us elected to head back to the homestead around 10. It’d been a long day as it was, but Kevin, Rob and Zig elected to make it even longer, and stayed behind. Atta boy, guys! Make us proud!
Back at the house, we hung out with Mark, who was…you guessed it; working the stove and making sure we were as comfy as possible. After a couple more frosties, we readied our tired bodies for bed and settled in.
And then this text came in from Zig, much later in the evening. Looks like the VFW has some new leadership!!
LOL, awesome! Way to keep the “Mess with Bub” tradition going!
Oh yeah; word also came in from Mary (who was closing again) that the Post had set a record for the till. The bar made more money that day than on any other event the Post has ever held. It’s just another testimonial to how many friends King has, and how great everyone is out there. (Even more impressive; the Post had donated two kegs of beer, so many of us were drinking free beer all day. Just imagine what the take would have been if we’d been paying for every drink!)
The next morning, we once again found Mark working the stove and getting our bellies full and us ready to hit the road. And we once again found Rob had achieved a new level of ass disaster for us. Mary had a wonderful parting gift for all of us; clothespins!! LOL Thankfully, Cindy also had some air freshener spray with her, so between that and the clothespins (and working the windows for all they were worth), we made due the best we could.
Here’s the evil wrongdoer, laughing at the havoc he’s creating...
Poor Bill and Tara had to find their own means to survival...
It’s not safe to interfere with the driver!
We made decent time on the way home (despite all the wind drag from the windows being down so often) and soon had the rental car returned without issue. Everyone split and we headed our own ways, with yet another successful, and fun-filled weekend in the books.
We got to hang out with the Queen, too! It was so nice to have Pat there, sharing in the fun and celebration!! We've missed you, Pat, and we hope you'll join us in Maine this year!
It was so great to see so many friends out in NY, and even better; to start talking about upcoming road trips. King was quite happy to point out that “schedules” really don’t mean much to him now. Instead of worrying about departure timeframes and scheduling vacation, he can just up and go whenever the desire strikes him. Well, how can you be upset with something like that? He deserves it after working 7-days a week for countless years. You deserve it, King, Enjoy!
Ride Hard, Take Chances...and Retire!
