Quick Fix

The massive storms that pounded much of the country had slowly marched their way Eastwards. Our forecasts called for torrents of rain to hit us on Monday, with some follow-up showers on Tuesday. And for once; the forecasters were right!

Sitting in a big meeting on Monday, it was all I could do not to stare out the window at all the glorious rain hammering down, washing all the bad stuff away. Dried riverbeds of salt met their maker as the precipitation soaked and sloshed them off to sewer basins and runoffs everywhere. The first half of Tuesday followed with a much lighter cleansing from the skies, but combined with Monday's events, resulted in some salt-free roadways. And that can only mean one thing;

Time To Ride!

I got home from work last night and hopped on the bike for some quick jaunts around the area. I had errands to run which took up most of my free time, so I wasn't able to stack up many miles, but the feeling of elation was still there.

Of course, I brought the bike in to work this morning and there's been a bit of a smile on my face all day long, for I know the end of the day will bring another sweet bit of sanity, otherwise known as "The ride home".

And despite having commuted to and from this job for over 11 years, would you believe it's still possible to get lost on the way home? It's true! There have been instances where it's taken me hours to get home!!

I have a funny feeling it might happen again tonight...

Ride Hard, Take Chances

Californ…er…Kentucky Dreamin’!!

Winter has us tight in its grasp. Even when the weather gods grant us a bit of a reprieve (temps are forecast to be mid 40’s tomorrow) we’re still screwed. The roads are their usual pastel white, due to the layers of corrosive salt just lying in wait for any poor soul that cares to deliver some fresh and tasty chrome into it’s hungry maw.

What is one to do to maintain sanity? Why, road trip planning, of course!

Sure, we have the usual pig roast in May to look forward to. And there’s the Rendezvous in June. August will find us on the road to Olean once again for the annual mad dash to Maine. As you can see; there are lots of miles to look forward to. However, those of you paying close attention may have noticed a gap in the aforementioned sequence. Let’s recap…

A trip/event in May? Check (pig roast)
A trip/event in June? Check (Rendezvous)
A trip/event in July? Chec..er…no! No, July is open! We cannot have this! We must set something up! We must plan!

Thankfully, Coose and Mary have come to the rescue. They have family that owns a farmstead in Kentucky. Kentucky! This same family has (foolishly?) seen fit to invite us all to spend a weekend with them, camping, cooking, and basically just enjoying life. Sounds sweet!

I put the question to Coose the other day; would it be OK to extend the invite to others? His reply was classic;

Of course it's O.K. If we're letting Ziggy go it's hard to imagine excluding someone else.
Looks like John Baire is going. Also, Garv is talking about it.
Also, Hurl and his wife.
Any chance of Flex or Thirsty or any of the others going along? We might as well make it a full scale invasion.
Kentucky may never be the same.

“Kentucky may never be the same.” I don’t think I could have worded it any better.

Ahhh, another plan in place. That certainly helps the sanity level during the cold and blustery months.

Now if only I could hibernate the rest of winter away, I’d be ecstatic…

Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

Dean Wormer’s famous words from so long ago have never applied more aptly.

My company was shut down last week, giving me plenty of opportunity to hit the gym and really get the body back into shape from all the holiday splurging. So of course I ate more, I drank more, I stayed up later, and I slept in each morning. Gym? “F” the gym!! But alas; my choices have caught up to me. (This couldn’t have been very difficult, as I am now so out of shape that I couldn’t outrun a snail that was moving backwards across a sandy floor. Hell, I get winded by merely sitting down now.)

So some changes are in order. The “Official New Year’s Resolution” diet has been put into place! Gone will be the breakfasts of Hershey bars and butter-covered coffee cake. No more lunches of cheese-smothered nachos and Captain Crunch cereal. Dinners consisting of Bud Light and Doritos have been scrapped as well. It’ll be whole wheat, grains, salads and plain chicken from here on out!

Along with this massive reduction in caloric intake, I shall now endeavor to attend the gym multiple times a week. Mornings will consist of abdominals, free weights, and cardio. When the schedule allows, evenings will garner more cardio.

Lastly, and perhaps most drastic, I am going on the wagon again. Liquids to be consumed will now consist of water, milk, green tea, etc. No more beer. No more wine. No more margaritas. No more vodka gimlets! No more rum concoctions! No more tequila shooters, homemade Kahlua, or champagne and ice wine toasts! Nada! My liver sat me down and we had a long discussion about things, and he said that if I didn’t give him a break, then we would just have to see how well I got along without him. And as much of a pain in the ass as he is, I have found that I’m kind of dependent upon him. So I’ll do things his way…for now.

How long will this travesty of a lifestyle-change last for? Hard to say, but in years past when I’ve ventured down this path, the trip usually lasts for two or three months, so that’s about where I’m setting my goals at for this time around as well. Gotta get this fat, drunk and stupid ass back into shape!

I'll bet you a 4-day, junk-food-and-beer bender that I make it...