Laconia! Oh, we hate and love thee...

I hopped onto the bike this past Saturday and rocketed northward. My destination? The (once) infamous Laconia, NH, central point of the annual New Hampshire Bike Week festivities. I say "once" infamous because the LEO's have done a bang-up job of turning something that used to be a real blast, into a boring and watered down pretend biker event. It's because of this that for the past 4 or 5 years, I only do a half-day trip up there. Just long enough to set the kickstands, do a bit of walking around, come to the realization that nothing has changed, and make a quick break for home.

The weather had been pure ass all week long, but the Saturday forecasts were calling for the rain to hold off until the afternoon. Our plan? Hit the highways and hit them hard. Be in and out before being caught by either the heavy traffic, or the rain that was looping back toward us.

As fate would have it, I got a bit of a late start but made up for things by hammering the throttles all the harder.

I arrived in Laconia-proper and the traffic was stacking up quickly. I managed to avoid most of the heavy congestion right up until I was about a mile away from Weirs. I foot-stepped my way along this last stretch of roadway until I was finally crossing over the bridge. I took my chances and hung a right onto Weirs boulevard when what do you know? Bikes were pulling out of their parking spots, right in front of me!! I quickly sliced over and filled one of the just-vacated slots, happy that I'd found a temporary home for my steed.

Bikes locked up and off I went, making the trek along the sidewalk/boardwalk, checking out the vendors. I picked up a souvenir pin, and then... Well, that was it once again. That was Weirs. I thought about going across the street to check out the vendors behind the drive-in theater, but opted to cut my losses and head back home. Besides, I had a lawn to mow before the rain moved in.

I'm going to do a quick blurb tomorrow morning about the jello shots I made, as well as a rogue bolt that I found waiting on the road, just outside my driveway. The fu*ker was lying in wait for the bikes tomorrow morning. Can you imagine the setback if one of us had picked it up in a tire as soon as we were pulling out? The bastard! But I'm happy to say that it's safely sitting in the trash barrel and won't be causing any problems for us.

That'll do it for now. Gotta try and get some sleep tonight before we roll out and...

Ride Hard, Take Chances

Zig and Jack's Excellent Adventure, Part 3

Our guest blogger returns for another installment of Zig & Jack's Excellent Adventure. Thanks to Shannon for putting these pics & comments together and sending them up...

Hey! This Way.....food!

The grill masters....

Ahhhhh....come to me my little dahling.......

Mmmm......kielbasa....I love you.......smoochy....smoochy.....

I swear....it's this big!!! No really.....it is!

You may ask yourself...how can I make my own wall of shame? Here's some lessons on what to do....from the professional....

First...get a good wing man...or bunny....someone to help carry - or more importantly...BUY the beer.

Buy cans. Bottles just don't stack in the bags as well. Buy as much as you think you can carry....

Fold up the cardboard case and shim to cushion the beer from rattling against the sides.....

Whatever doesn't fit in the bags.....gets strapped to the top. Hmmm....are we just talking about beer??

Now to find some ice............whoops!...... too much ice creates a beer frosty. Is a beer frosty such a bad thing??

Remember the motto....

Drinking ensues...and the artsy photography appears....maybe we should have only bought one case of beer....

The morning after.....Jack-What is that coming out of the pants?! Is that the Tail of the Dragon?? What happened last night?

And now, back to some road adventures...

The dynamic duo starting out for another cruise around town....

Wow! Now that's a big Hog! Jack....let's go for a ride!

"No wait!" Jack says...the sign says we cant'....

Aww Jack...c'mon....let's go! Don't be a ..... (fill in the blank here.....) We can pick up chicks on this big Hog!

See....here they come now!

What's that? Did you say something??

Zig, Jack and the Angels out for a ride on the big Hog!

See Jack! Not playing by the rules is more fun!

Jack finds some reading material in the men's room at lunch....trying not to stare to his right....

Now he's feeling bad about his debauchery during the day (not to mention the previous night)........especially with all the reminders......

He needs time for contemplation....

Time away from the tubing, wet, t-shirt clad girls!

He needs to bring Ziggy back into the light. Oh! What a perfect solution!!

What does it say??

(Editor's note: if we're talking about Zig here, I think the sticker should read; "Penis", instead of Jesus.)

Hallelujah! He is saved!!

And there you have it; Part 3 of Zig and Jacks excellent adventure. Thanks again to Shannon!

From the latest intelligence reports I've received, Zig is now laying low, hoping to dodge the heat he created for himself down in NC. He's deeply entrenched within the Olean Underground and should be able to avoid detection....if only he remembers to not leave his trademark trail of empty beer cans behind him...

Until next time;

Ride Hard, Take Chances

Zig and Jack's Excellent Adventure, Part 2

Today we have a guest blogger. Zig sent up some more pics from his current TotD adventure and one of the ladies from their group sent me some narrations to go with the pics. I found these narrations to be rather humorous and figured it would save time to use them. Especially since my work load is pretty heavy today…er…not that I’m blogging from work. That would be an unacceptable use of company resources...

So without further ado, here are more pics, narrated by Shannon…

This is Bob. Bob did not drink all that beer..but he tried. He's the local celebrity around here....but has no tail. Poor Bob with no tail. No wonder he wants to drink all this beer.
Jack is back. He's such a great friend....drinking my beer....wait a minute...that's my beer....what a f'g bad, bad friend!!
John, Ziggy and Doc. All traded in the big bikes for a new ride!!
Where the hell is Ziggy NOW! Another pee break.
Very hot out today....needed a drink from the dragon at the smoky mountain harley davidson dealer...
My new home away from home!
Do i have to explain???
Portable beer pong table.
Jack & I were leaving Big Daddy's after a few rounds of beer pong. trying to escape with the table....we were chased by Tellico's finest.

On our way to a lineup and the big house!

Although now loving the sweet and creamy p-butter treatment, jack looks longinly towards freedom.

After a tricky exit thru the bars, we made our escape.
Great scenery....found some great falls off the cherohola highway.

Wow....those are big balls....i mean falls... (Editor's note; it's hard to make out in the pic, but those circles are highlighting people standing on either side. The falls are actually that big!)

Well another set of big balls....
Gotta tape those up with some duct tape
This is our own wall of shame....see the pants....wall of shame.....

And there you have it; today's installment of adventure pics from Zig and Jacks Excellent Adventure. Oh wait...there's a clip they sent up, too...it's of Ziggy, tapping his pants up. How he ever wound up with a tear in his pants is beyond my comprehension. Ok, it's not beyond my comprehension at all; you and I both know the tear happened because he just can't stop touching himself. Bad Zig, Bad! No touchy! (The management is not responsible for any damage sustained by your retinas in viewing the following clip.)

Here's hoping (for the sake of Zig's companions) his next pair of pants are made of kevlar. Although...he'd probably work his way through those, too.

We'll see if more pics get sent up. Until next time...

Ride Hard, Take Chances

Zig Trip 2009

For those that don’t know, Zig is currently down in NC, shredding the Tail of the Dragon. (For those that don’t know what that is, see this website; http://www.tailofthedragon.com/).

I’ve been busting on him to send me some pics so that I can blog about his adventure, but all I’ve been getting is text updates about how much he’s been abusing his liver. LOL Anyway, I got another text from him last night, telling me to check my email. Ok, I came in this morning and hey, lookie lookie; pics!

Zig met someone named Sandy, they’d really hit it off and she offered to let him ride her. He was all excited until she told him it was going to cost him 50 cents (he’s not accustomed to paying so much for his women). He gave it some thought and finally relented. Here you can see the vile act in progress…


Apparently that didn’t quite do it for him so he then moved on to sully the reputation of “Jack”, the mascot from the crew he was riding with.

Here’s a pic of one of the breakdowns. Zig blurbed something about running the bike down a blocked-off high speed lane while trying to jump-start it, only to realize the bike’s kill switch was still off. Or something like that. Hell, half the time I don’t understand what he’s saying in person - nevermind when he tries to mash out some complete sentences in email. LOL

Here we can see more debauchery in motion. These poor ladies obviously have no idea what kind of delinquent they’ve chosen to share libations with. And can you believe they’ve somehow been convinced to call themselves his Angels. (I don’t know the story either – maybe they’re considering themselves “angels” for putting up with him?)

From the left; Megan, Cindy, Colleen, Zig & Shannon…

Zig and his Angels, suited up and ready to roll. Actually, it looks more like a lineup. “#3, please take a step to your right, we can’t see your face. No, to your “right”. To your OTHER right!”

Ziggy has somehow achieved the nickname of “Skippy”. I don’t know the story behind this one either (nor do I think I want to know). Here you can see Zig with his alter-ego. Don’t deny your inner self, Zig. Embrace it. Embrace the smooth and creamy love.

This next photo caught me by surprise…Zig is checking out the Fontana dam. He’s not holding a beer, he’s not mooning anyone…all very nice and polite. You see what’s going on here, don’t you? He’s trying to put on a good show for the folks around him. Trying to make them think that he’s just a normal kind of guy. But inside, he’s probably thinking something like “If I were to toss an empty beer can off of this dam, I bet I could drink another one before the first one hit the ground…”

And while Zig was at the Dam, Jack had apparently packed his bike and was getting out of town while the coast was clear. He didn’t want to wake up to Zig’s peanut butter love again.

Ok, ok, enough picking on Zig. Here are some pics of him taming the Dragon!


I'm told that more pics are to follow. And, I’ve been assured that they all are indeed;

Riding Hard and Taking Chances.