Quick Beer Review

It's Friday night. I'm thirsty. There's a sharp looking pint-bottle of dark beer sitting on the counter. I'd been saving it for a *special* occasion. Did I mention I was thirsty? That seemed special enough...
"World Classic Schwarz". The tall brown bottle implied that dark treasures lay within. The porcelain cap assured me this was a higher-shelf item. The fancy label promised an "Original Black" brewed according to the German Purity Law of 1516 (I'm no lawyer, but that sounds like a pretty sweet law). Anyway; suffice to say that I was pretty excited to kick this thing back.
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Just look at this porcelain cap - any beer that has something as cool as this for a cap, has to be good!

When I broke the seal (on the bottle, not on my kidneys), there was a resounding POP! and I feared I was about to lose some of this fantastic liquid in a bubbly fountain, but thankfully, no such travesty transpired.
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A tip of the bottle, a lean of the glass, and the liquid was flowing...all too quickly and thinly, as it turned out. And such was the first sign that things were not as they'd been promised...
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The head...what head? It looks like I poured a glass of root beer. There's no consistency to the head. Bleah, this isn't shaping up well at all...

All too quickly, the head was gone, leaving me with a flat looking glass of brown liquid. Damn.
Never one to let life's disappointments hold me back, I made the best of things and savored the flavors and body as best I could. But it was a stretch to do so, as I quickly found there was nothing terribly special about this beer after all. (Of course I pounded the rest. I may not have been a huge fan of it, but c'mon, it's still beer!)

Hopefully the next beer that gets reviewed will be better...