But, as I sat on hold with the bomb disposal unit, my curiosity began to get the better of me. The box doesn’t appear threatening, and as I got closer, I could see that a hole was in the side of the box. Well either a rodent had taken up residence inside the box, or the contents were banged around enough during shipment to punch outward from the inside. Either way, I figured if there was anything dangerous inside, it’d been rendered harmless one way or the other.
Putting the phone away, I approached carefully…well, there’s a shipping address on the front (mine) and a sender’s address in the upper corner. Getting a bit closer, I was finally able to see who it was from. (Yes, I blurred the street before posting the pic.) And that was when the panic set in!!
As I lurched wildly backward off the front landing, I grabbed frantically for my phone again, desperate to hit redial and get the bomb techs back on the phone. The suddenness of my retreat, combined with the sheer stress that came with the realization of who’d sent the package, was too much for my brain to handle at once, and I tumbled to the ground. Unfortunately, instinct took over and I reached outward with my hands to try and catch myself. I say ‘unfortunately’ because I still had my phone in my hand…which proceeded to splinter into pieces when the full weight of my fat ass came crushing down upon it.
So there I lay; in a heap at the foot of the stairs, no phone for which to summon help with, and an ominous return address leering down at me.
And then it hit me – only half of that household is pure evil. The other half is loving and kind…and literate.
Figuring the odds were with me, I once again approached the box, and after nudging it gently with my toe a couple of times, took a chance and picked it up. No explosions, no puff of noxious gas, nothing untoward. Glancing sheepishly around me to see if any of my neighbors had seen anything, I headed inside with my newfound guest.
Carefully, I sliced the tape holding the package closed and gently eased the flaps up. Nothing jumped out at me and it soon became apparent what was inside;
Yep, that’s my ‘legal’ lid that I’d left in King’s Jeep from the Maine vacation. Thanks King!
I loved the packing supplies. Empty Bud Light cans, inside of freezer baggies. Ingenious! Ingenious and funny as hell!
Here’s another shot of the packing “peanuts”…
But wait…there’s something lurking inside that Bud Light box…
I carefully lifted the box out onto the counter and peered inside…
Holy Crap!! It’s a bar bell!!!
No, not a barbell from the gym, but a bell you can have in your bar!!! Wait, wait, wait…I’ve seen this bell before!! It’s from Mark’s shop in NY!!!...no…no, that’s not right…think, dummy…where did you see it…Holy Crap! It’s Big John’s!!! When I was out in NY before Labor Day, John and Steph had me, Coose & Mary over for dinner. The bell was on his porch and I commented that I thought it was really cool, and that I was going to be looking for one to put into my basement bar at some point. So that generous bastard wound up taking it down, cleaning it up and sent it to me! Man, what a great thing to do! But that’s the kind of guy John is. Always giving to others. Thanks Man!!!
I can’t wait to get this thing mounted downstairs!!
And the next time I get out there to NY (or he gets out here to Mass), I’m gonna get together with him and we’re gonna knock back some drinks!
Hey Barkeep! Ring That Bell!!
No comments:
Post a Comment