Fore!!

A friend of mine from work (Marcie) convinced me to join her at a local driving range and whack some balls around. The forecasts had said today would be a good day so a plan was put into place.

I suppose I should mention that I’ve only golfed once in my lifetime – almost 25 years ago, and I sucked horribly. Since then, my only forte’ into the golfing lifestyle has been a round of mini-golf every few years.

So it should come as no surprise then, that I have a few issues with my form… (Apologies for the sideways clips, I’m intelligence-challenged)

Of course I was hamming it up to begin with, but I swear I was really trying to hit the ball each time.


Marcie has taken lessons and is an avid driving range aficionado, and she offered as many helpful suggestions as she could. But even she had to finally give up, commenting that it was unlikely I could come up with a more embarrassing approach than my current one.

Naturally, I took that as a challenge…

…so I opted for the Happy Gilmore approach…


(The curator of the range promptly approached us and asked that I not do this again.)

Settling into a bit of a rhythm, we managed to get through the rest of the balls without damage to either ourselves or anyone around us.

Returning the ‘house’ clubs to the counter, Marcie suggested we take a ride to the nearby Building 19 and see if they had any decent clubs for sale. Hell, we were only a couple of weekly warriors, we didn’t need any high-priced gear, just something slightly better than the ‘for public use’ (Translation; bent, dented and otherwise gently-used) clubs that are available at the range.

Strolling into the sports equipment aisle at the aforementioned Building 19, we were greeted with quite a selection. Although I’m not certain that everything on display was actually a club…

Is this thing for golfing or branding cattle?

And look; only $140 for it!

The white sticker on this one says “Includes torque wrench and owner’s manual”.

Torque wrench? Are you kidding me? What the hell needs torquing on a golf club??

Oh…Wait, are those really bolts? On a golf club? This thing looks more like something out of War of the Worlds, than a golf club…

At any rate, I opted to pass on the new-clubs idea, but Marcie scored herself quite a deal; a three-pack of ladies clubs (different sizes), for a sweet price. Now she’s all excited to hit the range again. But I had fun so I’ll probably tag along, too.

Besides…where else can $10 get a guy all the balls he can whack? Don’t tell me I don’t know how to have a good time!

Drive Hard, Drive Long