Counting Calories

I was riding one of the girls in the elevator this morning…whoops, I mean riding “up with” one of the girls, and she mentioned she’d been drinking Angry Orchards because they’re lighter and don’t have as many calories as beers.  I was pretty sure that wasn’t the case so we decided to look up the nutritional values of some of the drinks we like…

Her Angry Orchards came in a 210 calories.  Far higher than what she’d thought, and left her a bit dismayed because she likes how they taste, more than beer.  But, there were a couple of beers she can tolerate, so our research continued.

Blue Moon was up next, and that was no better, slightly higher in fact, at 228 calories.  She wasn’t liking how this was turning but so we checked another one she likes…

Hoegaarden Wheat was a bit of an improvement at 176…but still higher than what she was hoping to find in her quiver of go-to drinks.

Just for laughs, I showed her that Bud Light is only 110 calories but the scrunched up look on her face told me she wasn’t ready to go that low yet.  She did ask me to check Miller Lite, which was the lowest, at 96, but she wasn’t going to start drinking those, either.  Two more beers came to her mind; Corona (regular, not light), which wound up at 148, and Kentucky Bourbon Barrel Ale, which came in at 190 - neither of which brought her too much excitement.  She did, however, ask me to check Bud Light Lime, as those aren’t too terrible (her words), and they came in at 116 calories.  Much better than the others we’d checked, while not containing the apparent nasty taste that regular Bud Light or Miller Lite have.  So she was somewhat content at that.

Then she asked me what I like and I said stouts.  “Like Guinness?”, she asked.  I said well…kinda…I mean; Guinness is a stout, but it’s not really a favorite of mine (but I looked I up, anyway; 125.  Not too shabby, and yes; I’m aware that Guinness is technically considered a light beer.)

I said no, what I prefer is something like a Founders Breakfast Stout, so I (hesitantly) looked that one up.  Zoinks…270 calories.  No wonder it tastes so good!

And then I went big.  The white whale.  “Sex in a glass” as Matty calls it; Southern Tier Crème Brulee Stout.  Holy shyte!  I was prepared for bad news but this was pure tragedy!  528 calories!!  How is that even possible?  How can they squeeze that much sugar into something that’s already crammed to the brim with smooth and creamy deliciousness??

And then I saw the serving size that was listed; 22 oz.  Whoa, whoa, whoa…I’d love to have a nice 22 oz glass of this stuff sitting in front of me right now, but the question at hand is how many calories are in 12 ounces.  Let’s keep the measuring sticks on par with each other, shall we?

I did the math (confirming it with further interweb searches) and this heavenly stuff still comes away as the clear winner from this selection of libations; 288 well-worth-it calories.  Why is it that things that taste so good are always so bad for us?

 

No matter!  I still want to go out and find some of this delectable drink right now!

Alas, it’s 9:45 on a Wednesday morning and I should probably get some work done...

Ride Hard, Take Chances